For just a short post…
I went there last Tuesday to visit. All of the lights were on, but no one answered the door. Since they don’t lock the door unless they’re gone, I tried it, it was open, and I went in. I found my Mom and step-dad both asleep in their room. So, I tip-toed back out of the house.
Saturday, I called, because there was (finally) an excellent Red Sox/Yankees game on television. (The Sox were kickin’ Yankee butt!) My step-dad answered the phone, then gave it to Mom. The first thing she said was, “Where have you been?” When I told her that I’d found them sleeping on Tuesday, she said, “Oh, well, I’d just had my chemo. Next time, just wake us up.”
It’s interesting that while in some ways I still have more than a healthy dose of respect (read, fear) for my mother, I feel perfectly comfortable in defying her about something like this. She tried to turn it into an argument, insisting that if I ever go there and find either her or both of them sleeping, I should just wake them up. Eventually, she acquiesced – something that is not usually in my mother’s nature.
I’ll be heading over there either today or tomorrow, I’m not yet sure which. But if I find her asleep, I will not be waking her. If nothing else, I’ll sit down and watch television until she wakes up on her own. And if Mom doesn’t like it, tough. I’ll still be there to visit when she’s awake.
I kind of like this new defiance I have. Unlike when I was a teenager, it’s actually justified.
She’ll just have to get over it…
I was wondering how your mom was doing. I would definitely defy those orders as well. She needs her rest. Sometimes with parents, even when they know they need rest, they still want to be super parents and their “baby’s” needs will always come first. You are doing the right thing.
I don’t think she wants to be a superparent, actually. I think that she’s appreciating the reconnection that’s happening between us just as much as I am. That’s a nice thing, but it also makes me regret the past that much more, too…